“Congratulations! you’ve found an item” “A’ight girl, I hope you don’t mind a little sweat”

The above two phrases are both taken straight out of extremely different video games. One found its home on a console that I cherished and learnt a lot of life lessons from. The other managed to seduce me at friends houses as something I knew I really shouldn’t have anything to do with. Two very different childhoods live in these two worlds. The world of grand theft auto, and the world of the Legend of Zelda.

My first introduction to video games was my Nintendo Game Boy, given to me when I turned 6. A Classic by anyones standards the Game Boy said a lot about me. Sometimes it even did the talking for me when most of the time I just wanted to say “go away”. Because I can tell you right now that nobody does it better than the black & white juggernaut of anti-socialness, and i’m not just talking about racial segregation… although going to an english private school there was a lot of that there too. My point is that from an extremely early age i’d already taken a side  in a war that still rages on today (i’m not talking about the race war anymore FYI, although I did take sides there to, you white devil).

While older generations; my parents, your parents, your parents parents might just see riffraff, wastes of time or the ‘playing box’ (and choose their kids futures accordingly), I see, and you should to an epic struggle for survival in the world of xbox64s, playstationwiis, gamecubeUs, Nintendo Vitas and tamigotchis. The console you choose can very well define the rest of your life because it certainly did mine. Growing up with the Game Boy I had an affinity for jumping over turtles and onto mushroom caps and I would run up to girls in the street and try to rescue them… police had to get involved by this point. But the point is that people harp on about video games being improper influences on the youth of today and thats probably right. But what people are missing is that there is a direct correlation, not between the amount of FPSs you play or hookers you stab, but just simply the console you own that defines your childhood. I wasn’t ready for a playstation, I see that very clearly now. I actually bought one recently and I own over 60 games, almost all of them are MA15+. I also own a wii and a gamecube and almost all of my over 100 games are rated M or below.

So back-to-flashback, with the Game Boy in my back pocket (they were pretty big pockets), I went on to fall in love with a friends Nintendo 64. I caught glimpses of Ocarina of time, Pokemon stadium, Majora’s mask and Goldeneye through Game Boy-tinted goggles. This was my world and Link and Mario were my peeps. I didn’t understand the war that was being fought as the dreamcast was cast into the abyss, as sega bowed out and would choose to spend the next decade bending sonic over a megadrive until the only thing left would be blue bum fluff and as Microsoft would soon enter the ring and come to define the three-tiered prong of todays generation.

So that was where I came from, good natured platformer’s, RPGs and adventures that taught me to appreciate gorgeous level design, boys in green dresses, interactive story and girls who dressed up as boys to protect and guide the boys in green dresses… did I already mention good story? As I grew I learned to love and appreciate the history that came with my new pastime and as a result I became a fanboy. I regret nothing. But kids today are coming from Call of Duty: Modern Slaughter, Resistance: Fall of Good Taste and Medal of Honor: Rising Genocide. I grew up to be a delicate and soulful young man(ish) and i’m pretty sure that Mr. Miyamoto had a lot to do with it, he did teach me so much after all. But lil’ Johnny down the street has a playstation 3 and has never known anything else, and well, i’m pretty sure he’s gonna grow up to kill Miyamoto in an air raid #stayawayfromliljohnny.